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In the hopes of cutting through the guys-who-are-just-out-of-practice dating world and showing you what it really takes to get some, we’ve compiled some dating tips. But first, here’s an important disclaimer: This guide is aimed at relationship-minded men and women who are looking to get to know someone who may become their future partner. That being said, this isn’t a relationship advice blog. For relationship advice, check out A Cougar’s Table or TheCougar subreddit. Beware of your Reactions The first rule is to take a step back and observe your reactions. If you notice someone behaving in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you should be able to pause for a few seconds before saying something. Even if you feel like you want to confront the person, remember that you only have so much control over yourself. If you confront the person, your behavior will change—which could be dangerous if your date is not the type of person that you want to be around. G/O Media may get a commission Subscribe and Get Your First Bag Free Promo Code AtlasCoffeeDay20 Sometimes, you will want to be firm and say something but, other times, you will want to keep your head and simply meet that person’s gaze and nod. In either situation, go with your gut. Your gut is usually on the right track. Pay Attention to the Timing Many guys get paralyzed by nervousness when they’re meeting a new person for the first time. Why is that? The classic response is that you are asking someone to go out with you in exchange for getting intimate with them. But the idea that you’re going out on a date with someone to see if you want to get intimate with them is classic matchmaking. Let’s face it: Some people are just not compatible. So why spend time and energy on someone you don’t believe you can have a genuine relationship with? Instead, consider the fact that even though you’re asking someone out, your goal is not to see if they want to be intimate with you. Your goal is to get to know them. You may actually like spending time with the person, even if that time doesn’t lead to sex. But if that someone is not for you, then you shouldn’t waste your time, and you certainly shouldn’t pressure them into anything. You’re better off walking away because you don’t believe in spending your time and effort on
When you see someone you like, you’re naturally inclined to want to get to know them better. But you don’t usually have an easy way of asking someone on a date. If you’re getting to know someone you’ve just met online—or even if you’re meeting them in person, thanks to sites like OkCupid and Tinder—often the only way you can figure out if you want to know them better is by initiating conversation. So here’s the thing: If you want to ask someone on a date, you’re probably going to want to use some sort of opening line. But a lot of guys’ go-to lines are way too awkward. (I personally am a sucker for a “whatcha doin’?” type line.) If you’re not sure what to say, here are some good opening lines to get you started. As always, listen to your gut. If you want someone on a date, and you’re pretty sure that person will want to date you, ask them out. Don’t just show up at someone’s house or office and ask to go on a date with them. That’s not a good way to start a relationship. Also, be aware of the particular time of day you show up. If it’s a Friday night, don’t show up to the place where someone lives at 11:30 in the morning. If someone works until about five, make sure you don’t show up at 7:30. If you’re interested in someone, you should be able to gauge whether you actually want to be with that person, and you shouldn’t have to explicitly ask. If you want to keep someone interested, you have to make them feel good about themselves. If you’re interested in someone, you should be able to gauge whether you actually want to be with that person, and you shouldn’t have to explicitly ask. If someone feels good about themselves, it’s easy for them to open up. And when someone is genuinely happy, they’re more likely to be open in other ways. You should see someone, the way you would if you were in a movie or a TV show. If you see the character you’re interested in, stop the show, or if you’re interested in the character you’re watching, stop the show, and make sure you know the character’s motivations for the way they’re reacting, the way you would if you were in a movie or a TV show.