Before you set foot in the dating world, you need to know that some of the terms you may hear are outdated or potentially, detrimental to you. To ensure that your dating experience is an amazing one, look for phrases that make you feel uncomfortable or that you may want to reconsider, as well as any outdated phrases that you should know about.
The following terms are outdated, or should be reconsidered:
I’ve been single for so long and no one has ever liked me.
This one should be on the tombstone of every 25-year-old woman who hasn’t yet found love, because it has been a truism for such a long time. While there’s no reason to throw such words into the ring, there is a reason for you to hear them—the impact of both you and the person saying it is greatly overstated. There are, however, some exceptions to the rule—women who lack confidence and feel like they are overweight or unattractive may actually benefit from hearing this. Bottom line? You should accept the fact that you are pretty much perfect just the way you are, and you shouldn’t spend time thinking about someone else’s opinion.
You look so good.
Here’s how this phrase should be used: “You look so good.” Please don’t use it in reply to “You look so pretty.” The latter phrase comes from a time when women were expected to wear a lot of makeup to appear fresh, and this is a sentiment that is outdated. Plus, this is when the “You look so good” is outdated because women are allowed to be without makeup these days, and they often don’t mind and appreciate being thought of as beautiful. It’s more complimentary to say, “You look great.”
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If you think you are fat, don’t go out on a first date.
The risk of this may outweigh the benefits. First, this doesn’t apply to all bodies. There are very thin women who look overweight, and it’s even the opposite for women with an athletic build. If you feel like you look fat and are worried about how others will react, ask for some advice on how you could tone up. Chances are, if they think you look great, they won’t take issue with your weight. Also, studies have shown that men tend to find heavier women more attractive.
Where to Find a Good Venue
Your search for the perfect first date venue begins in your living room. Whether you’re a techno DJ, a live band enthusiast, or simply a jazz lover, you’ll need to be able to pick the right venue for your date. Just like your style or your job, what’s right for you might not be right for everyone.
If, for example, you are partial to jazz and listening to Miles Davis records, you’re probably not going to enjoy listening to The Beastie Boys during your first date. No matter what your music tastes, though, try to find a venue that’s a comfortable size for your date. While you may want to surprise your date with an intimate venue that can easily fit 10 people, try not to get too big if you really don’t know your date. If a restaurant is too small, your date may feel out of place. And that’s probably not what you want to be focusing on at the beginning of a potential relationship.
On the other hand, if you’ve met your date through the Internet or at a club, a large bar or restaurant is more likely to be a good place to go to start a conversation. If you’re going to a club, though, you may want to look up some reviews to see how the venue will fit your date’s style of music. For example, there are certain club classics that play a large role in the club environment, so if you’re there to hear jazz, a club that plays more of a house or techno sound will probably not be the best fit. Again, as with choosing your own venues, the trick is to try to find a place that’s the most comfortable, the most “your date,” as it were.
What to Wear
There’s no need to get dressed up at a first date. In fact, you probably shouldn’t be wearing your best or most expensive clothes for your date. This means that if you’re heading to a bar, no need to worry about your suit or your tie and go for a lightweight, comfortable look. Just because you’re wearing a cocktail dress doesn’t mean you have to go in full-on formalwear. If you want to be taken seriously, play it more casual, but don’t go overboard. In other words, don’t wear anything too crazy, or your date might assume you’re less than serious.
As for your date, you should try to wear something that’s not too dressy, but